The GOP: Standing Up As Always For Our Sacred Rights

When my wife told me about this story, at first I thought it had to be a joke. Ritch Workman, a Republican state legislator in Florida, has introduced a resolution to--I am totally serious--repeal the state's ban on "dwarf tossing."

Those who are above the age of 30 might remember this idiotic fad from the 1980s. Bars would hold contests to see who could throw a dwarf the farthest. Florida thankfully banned this demeaning "entertainment" in 1989. But Mr. Workman, apparently not concerned with the many real problems that he could be addressing, sees this ban, believe it or not, as an assault on freedom. As he told a reporter from the Palm Beach Post:

I'm on a quest to seek and destroy unnecessary burdens on the freedom and liberties of people. This is an example of Big Brother government.

Workman even makes the bizarre claim that this is a jobs issue, stating that the ban had taken away "some employment from some little people." Not surprisingly, Little People of America, a nonprofit group that advocates for the rights of people with dwarfism, disagrees. They issued a statement in 2001 that denounced dwarf tossing, which, they said, objectifies and dehumanizes little people in the name of entertainment.

So let's hear it for the GOP, standing up for our inalienable right to get stinking drunk and throw little people around a bar for our crass amusement.